Stakeholder management

Stakeholder management is getting agreement from people who do not report to you. It turns out to be what most of a senior role consists of, which is why the step up from senior individual contributor catches people by surprise — the work changes species rather than scaling.

What the work consists of

Finding out what someone actually needs as distinct from what they asked for, surfacing disagreement early enough that it can still change the plan, and keeping people informed at the point they would otherwise start worrying. Most of it is unglamorous and happens before any meeting.

What employers screen for

A story where you disagreed with somebody and the outcome was good. Not a conflict you won — one where the disagreement came out early enough to be useful. Interviewers are listening for whether you treat other people’s constraints as real.

• Separating a position from the interest behind it, which is where most deadlock dissolves
• Delivering unwelcome news early, when it is still information rather than an excuse
• Writing the summary afterwards, so the agreement survives everyone’s memory of it
• Knowing which decisions are yours and which you are consulting on, and saying so

The honest limit

Two to three years to competence, and it cannot be studied in advance — it needs real stakes and real disagreement. It is also the skill most likely to be the genuine reason a promotion did not happen and the least likely to be named as such in the conversation, which is part of why most people become managers before they are ready.